


The Clever Bastard

by ethereal_vision (Lost_Theories)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-01
Updated: 2011-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-22 02:03:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_Theories/pseuds/ethereal_vision
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby likes to hunt alone. Crowley is of another opinion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Clever Bastard

Bobby had a system that worked and he liked it. He hunted alone most of the time these days. Sure, there was the occasional time he'd help the boys and sometimes Rufus needed a hand with bodies or graves but he was at ease alone. If he got hurt than it was his own fool fault and at least no one else was going to get hurt.

He wanted to tell Crowley all of that but he was too angry when the demon showed up in time to bash in the ghoul's skull repeatedly on the kitchen counter. Crowley stood there afterwards, blood steadily dripping from the gory counter top to the tiled floor, on the ranch house the ghoul was squatting in after eating the owners. Bobby was tied to a chair but not trapped, because he had his knife in his hand and was cutting the rope, thank you very much. The rope fell down around him as he cut the last strands. Crowley had dropped the mangled corpse on the floor and was toeing it with the point of a black leather shoe.

"That was a close one, mate."

Bobby surged up from the chair, holding the knife out in front of him, knowing it was useless, knowing his shotgun was sitting on the counter behind the demon.

"What in the fuck was that about?"

Crowley looked up, frowning slightly.

"What was what?"

"Don't fuck with me, why'd ya save my ass back there? You were eager enough to let me be a goddamn chew toy last time I saw ya."

Bobby felt the flask of holy water in his back pocket. Thank god ghouls are scavengers, not hunters he thought, casually letting the hand not holding the knife drop to his side. He was not going to let this demon get the better of him again if he could help it.

Crowley had pulled out his iPhone and sounded bored as he answered the hunter.

"I was in the area anyways. You know the phrase people change? Well, it's not true, and it's basically the same for demons, thieving, lying lot they are. Only, I recently have changed. I'm the new king of Hell, you see. New management for new times."

Crowley looked up from his iPhone to see how Bobby was handling the news. He wasn't. Quickly he yanked the flask of holy water out of his back pocket and...it was gone. Crowley chuckled and tapped the side of his head.

"Is that how you go about congratulating people, Robert? Flinging acid in their face?"

"Why should I be happy about the biggest pain in my ass getting a promotion?"

Bobby growled, feeling defenseless. Against the king of Hell. Shit.

Crowley put his phone in his pants pocket and shoved his hands deep into the recesses of his coat that had blood and brain bits on it. He looked down and curled his lip in disgust before taking it off, showing an immaculate, well fitting black suit. He threw the coat on top of the corpse. Bobby watched it all in silence, noticing how the suit looked on him and trying not to think about it, because that was all sorts of wrong. Crowley walked towards the hunter who stood stock still, holding the knife out in defense still.

Crowley stood as close as he could, the knife digging into the tip of his neck. He grinned wolfishly at the squared-jaw man.

"Don't you humans have some silly saying about 'the devil you know...'? Or you could always go with the obvious proverb 'The lesser of two evils'. Do you really need an excuse to raise a glass anyways? You've met Lucifer. He's a supreme dick bent on snuffing everyone out. I like humans, or did you just conveniently forget I helped avert the apocalypse?"

Bobby listened to him and wanted to agree with what he said, it all was true. Except. Except it was a demon talking to him. He, like any other sensible hunter knew you couldn't trust the scum suckers, they manipulated facts and lies to make you do whatever they wanted. Crowley would want more than a pat on the back for becoming the new sheriff of Demontown.

Said demon was smiling wide now, having picked up on Bobby's train of thoughts as quickly as they came to the human.

"Well, I would hope that becoming the monarch of Hades deserves more than a pat on the back. A drink would be a good start."

He motioned towards the cupboards behind Bobby.

"Oh, right, I'll jes' turn my back and find the friggen' champagne so we can toast to yer health. I wasn't born yesterday, idjit."

Crowley twisted his lip into a well practiced sneer.

"So much confidence for an overgrown ape! I could have killed you in a dozen different, more-," Crowley tilted his head towards the corpse, "- colourful ways. So if you would just put your sharp stone down for a half a bloody minute and look for the liquor we could just move on."

Bobby lowered the knife before backing up slowly, putting a hand out behind him for the counter. Crowley vanished and reappeared directly behind him to lean forward and whisper into the hunter's ear.

"I told you to look for the alcohol, kitten, not feel around for it."

Bobby whirled around, fist clenched ready to kill the bastard, but he was gone again to the other side of the kitchen, leering at his ass. Bobby wrenched the cabinet doors open until he found a bottle of Johnnie Walker black label. He slammed the bottle down, furious with the whole situation. Finding tumblers two shelves down, they were slapped on the counter the same as the bottle. Cracking it open, the hunter poured a very small amount in both glasses, still determined to drink as little as possible with the new damn devil.

Bobby handed one of the tumblers over to Crowley, raising his own slightly.

"Here's to the world not blowing up just yet."

"Ever the romantic, Robert."

Bobby glared at him as they drank, tossing back the liquid amber easily. Crowley felt it slide into his gut, felt it protest at the cheap impostor.  
He ignored it and held out his glass for another. Bobby frowned and set his empty cup down.

"I am not drinking with you in a dead person's home with that mess in the corner."

Crowley raised his eyebrow.

"Would you prefer to drink at your own house?"

"Yeah. Alone, too."

Crowley set his glass down and was in the hunter's personal space in one smooth, snakelike move. He leaned close to the human who  
stared at him with part fear and part curiosity and spoke in low tones.

"Why is it you always want to be alone? Don't you ever get tired of it? Doesn't it drive you mad to drink alone and never talk about all the insanity?"

Bobby tried to step back and realized he was against the wall, Crowley's eyes boring into his. He was thinking of a way out of this situation when he felt a hand on his groin. He swung his fist into the other man's face. Crowley was decent enough to turn his head with the blow, but it still felt like punching a two-by-four.

He chuckled and squeezed Bobby's groin sharply.

"Really, Robert? We both know you can't lie to a demon."

Bobby stared at the other man, trying to ignore the hand fondling his dick.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Crowley unzipped the hunter's fly, the sound loud in the silence of the house. Bobby was going to start swinging again when he realized he couldn't move his hands. Fuck.

"I've been watching you, and I know what's been getting you hot and bothered lately and it is not your next door neighbor."

Bobby felt his face and ears flush red with embarrassment. He had been jacking off a bit more than usual, and it'd been Crowley who'd come to mind when he was alone at night. But no one was ever supposed to find out.

Crowley had unbuttoned the hunter's jeans and they slid down his hips slightly, revealing a pair of plaid boxers. The demon's hand went inside them craftily and began stroking his dick. Bobby would rather lose his legs again than admit how fucking good it felt. Without his permission his cock began to rise under the attention it was receiving.

"I know that you touch yourself at night and wish it was me."

Bobby growled low in his throat. He wasn't exactly sure why it was this man he thought of when he palmed himself in the dark. He hadn't wanted another man since Rufus, and that had been at least twenty years. Shit, this wasn't even a man, it was a demon, the goddamn King of Hell.

Crowley stopped stroking Bobby's cock for a second to lean in to whisper to the hunter.

"I think you get hard for power, Robert Singer. I think that being around anyone as clever as you makes you weak in the knees."

Bobby looked at the face nearly pressed into his. If it was a human he could have believed they were as horny as him and twice as eager to get off. But his hunter instinct could not shut off his suspicion, the paranoia of being used.

Crowley slid the other man's boxers down, crouching in front of him.

"I think that you can't help yourself, Bobby."

The demon continued fisting the other man's prick, smoothing the precum down with his thumb.

Bobby bit his bottom lip. He refused to cry out, even as the demon glued him to the wall as easily as a fly sticks to flypaper. He didn't want this, it was suicidal to want this.

Through glazed eyes he noted his shotgun lying on the counter. The demon tutted at him.

"Now we both know you're not actually thinking about that, mate."

The hunter drew in a sharp breath through his nose as an invisible force made him turn his head away from the gun and down at the black haired demon kneeling before him.

Crowley looked up at the other man, a devilish smirk on his face.

"I think right now you are entirely too invested in the outcome of this ah-" Crowley paused and licked the leaking head of the hunter's prick, "-situation."

Bobby gasped "Go to Hell. Permanently."

"Oh darling, and leave you in this deplorable state? Why whatever would you do?"

Bobby opened his mouth to answer, but Crowley was quicker, swallowing him whole, taking all the fight out of the hunter. He watched through slitted eyes, wanting to grab that silky hair and suddenly his hands were free and sliding down into the demon's hair of their own accord. Bobby clenched his chapped and callused hands in the soft, meticulously combed hair, mussing it as he pulled. Crowley hummed in response, making the other man see stars behind his eyes.

Crowley watched the human react to his little trick amused. The man never really had a proper blow job. Pity. He decided to rectify that in the future, but not now. Now was just tension relief, really. They were both too charged to do more than mindlessly fuck and he was all for it.  
Meanwhile Bobby was still trying his damnest to make any noise. To keep this bizarre reality from being true. Crowley had just about had enough of that. The hunter was suddenly naked, save for a flannel shirt hanging unbuttoned. Before Bobby could fully realize what had happened, Crowley was standing pressed against him still fully clothed. He was rubbing against him, biting his shoulder. Bobby finally cried out as his brain threw in the towel and advised him to fuck the man humping him. His hands went down to the demon's hips and began fumbling with his belt while Crowley remained latched to the crook between his shoulder and neck, sucking. Bobby was harder than he'd been in a long time, brushing against the expensive material of the suit.

"Off."

The hunter growled, tugging at the clothes that he couldn't figure out. They were gone a moment later and Crowley lifted his head to gauge Bobby's reaction. The hunter roughly mashed their mouths together, his beard pleasantly scratching the demon's face. They broke the kiss and Bobby sucked in a lungful of air. Crowley gave him a smirk before finding himself being pushed towards the counter and roughly turned around.

Bobby stood behind him. Crowley heard the sound of a dish being dragged followed by the smell of butter, a finger pushing it's way in and the demon was making a light keening noise as the finger worked in and out, feeling another digit slide in. The hunter was pressed against his back breathing roughly against his neck, feeling Crowley stretch around his fingers. He pulled them out and rubbed the tip of his dick up and down the crease of the other man's ass be fore slowly pushing in, burying himself to the hilt. He bit the neck in front of him, overwhelmed by the warmth that held him.

Crowley was clenching the counter with his hands, moaning low in his throat. Bobby stood still for a moment, grasping the demon by the hips. Forcefully Crowley pushed back, fucking himself on the other man's cock. Bobby snarled and brought one hand up to grab the other man by the back of the head and push him down, setting a demanding pace. The slap of flesh on flesh seemed louder than it should have been in the empty house. Crowley was grinding against the counter, his cock seeking any sort of touch as Bobby rode him, breath harsh against his sweat slicked back, hand fisting the sweaty black hair, shoving the demon's face into the counter. Crowley hissed as Bobby's cock brushed against his prostate, setting his nerves on fire. The hunter groaned in turn as the other man clenched around him, and picked up his thrusts, slamming into him.

Crowley's forehead rested on the counter giving him a view of a rough, calloused hand sliding towards his straining prick. He heard the  
blood pounding in his ears when the hunter's paw clenched him unforgivably tight, shoving his arse back to meet the other man's cock that was driving him mad with it's steady tempo when he needed chaos. Bobby bit down on Crowley's shoulder feeling his balls slap against the demon's tight ass, shifting his leg slightly and fucked him raw in the right spot. Bobby's scarred thumb was flicking over his weeping crown and Crowley tried to jerk forward and backwards at the same time as his orgasm ripped through him, flaying his nerves, feeling Bobby rear back and crash into him once, twice and then his hand was digging into his hip, blunt fingernails breaking skin as he came inside the demon, shouting harshly into his back.

Crowley rested on his forearms tiredly, using a bit of magic to hold himself up, feeling well buggered. Bobby was draped behind him, too tired to do anything but lay there and lick the sweat off Crowley's neck. The demon felt his oversensitive prick twitching but he was too wrung out at the present moment to do anything but breathe deeply. Bobby pulled out a few minutes later and slid to the floor, his back leaning against a cabinet. He pushed a shaky hand through his hair, feeling exhausted. Crowley slid down a moment later to sit next to the hunter, offering him a cigarette, one already lit in his mouth. Bobby shook his head, amused that a demon indulged in a post-coital cig and then frowned. When did that become endearing?

They sat in silence as Crowley smoked, exhaling languorously. Bobby felt himself starting to nod off, it'd been a long time since he'd gotten laid and it was showing. Crowley nudged him with a sweaty shoulder, crushing the cigarette into the tiled floor.

"Wake up, Robert. We need to leave."

The hunter felt barely awake.

"n'go where?"

He felt the vibrations of the demon's chuckle and then the coolness of sheets against his back. He raised his head and looked around blearily, noticing he was in his room before flopping back down and passing out, mouth open and snoring. Crowley watched the human sleep for a minute before getting up from the bed, readying himself to go back to the house and burn it down. He gathered himself and went to push...and fell back. He looked up and noticed the huge demon trap painted on the ceiling.

"you crafty bastard."

The demon chuckled to himself as he walked back to the bed to shake Bobby's calf. The hunter grumbled and he opened his eyes to take in the scene. He gave a rumbling laugh at the annoyed expression on the other man's face.

"You knew this was going to happen."

Bobby shook his head at the accusation.

"No, but when ya get to my age and you wanna jerk off to a demon, you wanna make sure nothin's gonna interrupt ya."

Crowley slid up the bed slightly, stroking the other man's exposed thigh.

"You're adorable when you're paranoid darling, but daddy has errands to run. I'll be back before you can find all the ingredients to summon me."

Crowley slid up Bobby's body, bringing his face to hover about the bearded man. He let out a slow breath as the demon slid one hand behind his head...and under his pillow, grabbing the knife there and straightening up. He whipped the knife upward to break the seal and vanished with a smirk on his face, leaving a tired, slightly aroused hunter in bed. Bobby grumbled to himself as he rolled over, feeling sleep coming over him.

"demonic jackass."


End file.
